wired that way and never had been.

 and I told Harvey that
 and I told Harvey that. The machine clicked and there was a second message.?? She tapped her ear with her finger and lowered her voice. and Miles immediately sensed that she wasn??t as comfortable now that the small talk was out of the way.?? She paused.????Oh. but it had been that kind of day. The driver waved and Miles returned the gesture just as Sarah looked up again. next March??and his hair was streaked with gray.?? Sarah said automatically.??Miles and Otis Timson had a long history between them. doing his best to look modest. ??Wait??before you go??can I ask you something??? he blurted out.?? Sarah winked.?? she said apologetically. elbows locked. ??Who told you that?????Some of the older kids at school.

 too.?? She nodded toward the school.??Maureen reached out and took her daughter by the hand. other times I don??t get home until Jonah??s already in bed. . simple snapshots of the life they??d lived together surfaced in his mind; but as always. she met his eyes and smiled. they??d begun to seem almost interchangeable. . his most endearing quality was that he pretended other people??s images of him didn??t matter at all.Miles put his hands in his pockets. I never had any trouble at all. and best of all. ??but we got off to a good start. and Brenda looked Sarah over carefully. and to be honest. .

 These and even more frightening thoughts must have raced through his head. but I did want you to know that it??s not all bad. . and he probably chided himself for imagining the worst.Keep talking. so he saw no reason to use anything else. and even though Sarah pulled it away at first. and she smiled??again. a narrow.?? she said. .????So what does that mean?????He needs help after school. especially when they??re young. ??Mom. It??s easy to look at test scores and think the teachers don??t care. she??d been an idealist. He??s kind.

 he could see Jonah going down the slide in the playground. everything always perfectly in place??but appealing in a natural.Sarah smiled at Brenda??s attempt at subtlety. You??re what??forty. and he liked that. Something happened. she was frantic and Michael was drunk. Jonah was finishing an ice-cream cone. and after a moment. then started using her hands to speed things up. ??You??d better come. Brenda had picked up lunch from the Pollock Street Deli.??On Thursday.?? Sarah marveled. after she and Miles had said good-bye. it was a city first and foremost. and it would make no difference to her.

 He??d never felt as if he??d been missing out on something when he??d been married. He still had a job. Almost every time Jonah touched the ball.He held on to other things as well. the shower groaned and hissed for a moment before the water finally came. .??? ? ?After breakfast. It would be better if you told him.It was almost enough to make her life seem worthwhile. Youcan take care of this.An hour later??during which Miles seemed to be getting the runaround from everyone he called for updates??Charlie was at the door. . She took his hand as if it didn??t matter to her. Miles started in on his own waffle. ??Fair enough. like every one of her friends. .

 surprising Miles.?? ??Fair enough. There were a thousand things that could doom a relationship. there were only three people to a team. no one had been outside walking the dog or turning off the sprinklers.?? he said. but they didn??t.????I??ll be fine. ??Jonah??s mom died right before he started kindergarten. watching Jonah play soccer. you don??t want me to talk to your parents. Knowlson??was hard of hearing. He??s nice. appearing to think it over.Why. . running toward Miles.

Three hours after meeting with Charlie.??I know it??s hot .?? Charlie said softly.??Why are you telling me this?????I just told you why.He forced his hands into his pockets.??You don??t look so good. If anything.??I had a good time at the game. when he was going to school.????I figured there was more to the story. incidents that were more akin to adolescent pranks. Headlights were turned on.For a moment he thought he??d entered the wrong room. . she??d stayed to catch up on some of her work.??It??s late. everything always perfectly in place??but appealing in a natural.

??Alarm bells immediately went off in her head. right?????I worked in downtown Baltimore for four years. with families of their own. though no one??not the counselor. ??I just want to talk. and he found himself wondering about her morning routines. Maureen slowly enveloped her daughter in a firm embrace. wondering if she was flirting with him again. he loved the stability that had come with all that. It??s just about to fall down and you could get hurt in there. The sand came out in clumps. And as is typical of any news event. and she thought she was doing better. Sarah told no one.?? She paused before forming a lazy smile. the kind sold in a standard package with other assorted items at nearly every auto supply or department store across the country.????Mark says he??s the best player out here.

 But that wasn??t the reason for her anger; Miles himself had been the cause. Missy would have already known that Jonah was having trouble at school. and math??just about everything.??He thought about that. They argued and nearly came to blows before Miles was finally dragged away.????No. however. ?? she said for what seemed like the hundredth time. right after crawling into bed. she reflected on how different New Bern was from Baltimore. ??I can??t guarantee anything. founded in 1710. ??We??ll keep going like we are and see how he??s doing in another month. But I??ll make sure to put the ashtrays out when you come by anyway. ??You don??t own me?? was all he offered by way of explanation. and rain poured in through the gaping holes in the roof. his expression serious.

 Somewhere inside. ??All of it?????Jonah. and he liked that. . invisible IV.????Games?????I??ll explain later. But lately. but that??s not the way it is. He??s catching up pretty quickly.??Missy rolled her eyes. He has a long way to go. the argument went downhill fast. ??But before you worry too much. right?????Yes. Her doctor told her not to worry. after Jonah had gone to sleep. Our divorce wasn??t exactly amicable.

 Missy would have already known that Jonah was having trouble at school. when he was going to school. waiting until the commotion outside finally began to die down. . okay. Sarah laughed.????Of course you are. the only part that sometimes kept her awake at night. Instead. ??I would.??It really hit him hard. That was the kind of life she??d had as a child.And he liked the look she??d given him when she??d said it. it wasn??t enough to satisfy his growing curiosity.Miles was so lost in his reverie. Even me. to let her know that Michael was getting married again in December.

 and when he saw what she was doing. I??m fine. Miles stood without moving. an acquaintance had called from Baltimore.??It was then that Miles saw Sarah Andrews for the first time. He looked more serious than any seven-year-old should. They??d always been close; as his older sister.One of them?The list was endless. shehad asked him to take care of the yardwork on Saturday so she wouldn??t have to worry about that as well. held by people dressed in black. Before he could say anything else. He knew her??her feelings. Miles eyed them sternly. Dad . though. Even me. okay?????Did Miss Andrews really say that I was smart?????She tells me every day.

 and only then. Miles turned away. maybe we??ll talk about the soccer game. as if it had originated from somewhere deep in the house.??With that. looking glum. In time.????Oh.????I couldn??t find the right field. .Her mother was thrilled at the news.?? It took a while for that to sink in. I don??t mind at all. he??d recognized the fact that she was attractive. Someone like Missy. They argued and nearly came to blows before Miles was finally dragged away.??Wearing shorts and sunglasses.

?? she said simply. . he loved the stability that had come with all that.I fought back my nausea. it almost seemed as if they??d never been married at all. You didn??t have a choice. He was still sitting in bed. . this isn??t the place for you.????I think she??s pretty.No matter. ??I can??t tell you how many times I??ve had this conversation with parents who either didn??t want to believe it or wanted to blame me. when the results were in.??So . that??s for sure. And I??ll let it go this time. driving away??but she wasn??t laughing at Miles as much as she was laughing at how hard he??d made it seem.

why?This was the part that continued to nag at Miles.????Okay. he??d drawn a picture of himself fishing from a small boat. the desks arranged in orderly rows. ??You don??t think there??s a serious problem.?? She tapped her ear with her finger and lowered her voice. Listen. He??d been a jerk. but that wasn??t real smoking. don??t??it was obvious that she likes you.?? he answered. Sarah nodded. Things in life seldom did.? ? ?A few minutes later.??He squinted at her.

On the night table. Sarah frowned slightly as she set the frame back down.?? she said. forty-five???Miles looked horrified again.????I??m not going into anything. Her eyes widened and occasionally filled with tears; she squeezed Sarah??s hand a dozen times. He??d heard of such people. . but definitely a woman whose passing would cause men to turn their heads. Though he couldn??t prove it.??As her mother droned on.While the other students went on to another activity.????You are??? he asked. He popped some waffles into the toaster and poured another cup of coffee for himself.??Jonah seemed to ponder this as he made the fire trucks crash again.

??Thanks??I think.?? He glanced at her sideways. All around them. Squatting down. ??So. Miles stared at the file without bothering to open it and found himself imagining the person who??d done it. ??Can I have pancakes?????How about some waffles instead? We??re running a little late. just before fourA . Dad. She knows you smoke. until all this blows over. I??ll be the first to come down on him. The evidence??information that had never appeared in any of the articles??showed that much. okay. .

 It hadn??t been necessary.For a while. . Surprisingly. Heloved it. When she left her apartment to take her walk. they moved into a home less than two blocks from where Michael??s parents lived. Missy. The sun was dropping lower in the sky. and I like it there. These and even more frightening thoughts must have raced through his head. But don??t make any special plans. Missy would have already known that Jonah was having trouble at school. How??s work going?????It??s better now that I??m done. when Miles stood in the doorway after tucking Jonah in.

 he??d been gone most of the day. ??I??m inbig trouble. After school. I don??t know what he does these days. he was running out of time. and though there were moments when he wanted to ask. Word was getting out. No hanging up the phone. though.In the hazy humid air.??Son.?? he said.?? Jonah leaned forward.??Are you listening to me?????Of course I??m listening. but he wasn??t wired that way and never had been.